(no subject)

 i got so sad thinking of 2021, the last year before the full scale war, and it was triggered by my hair growing to look exactly how i wore it back then lol. life just seemed more colorful then, we were just so... carefree. as soon as it started everyone around me and me as well seemed to have aged decades in an instant. like there's this weight on all of us now. now it's so hard to still feel joy with all the horrors happening. it's just scary and grey and i can never fully "relax" i guess u could call it that.
*shrug* It's nice to be able to access that sadness though, usually i can't allow myself that which protects me but also doesn't feel great. but i don't think the usual notion on how "holding in emotions is harmful!!" is relevant in such a situation. many psychology truisms aren't relevant rn yeah