(no subject)
Friday, 17 January 2025 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
softsoft all this stuff abt cptsd is crazy i rly thought cptsd is like a more intense case of ptsd or smth and it's not that... and im reading pete walker's book on it rn and ofc i recognize myself in it but also literally ALL my fucking family and a ton of friends. he is right to say that bad parenting is like an epidemic in our society.
i think it's so contagious too, kids grow up traumatized by their parents and proceed to get together w equally traumatized partners bc healthy partners don't rly stay w unhealthy ones!! then they proceed to have beautiful innocent pure children who they traumatize. innocent children grow up to be traumatized adults and the cycle just goes on 4ever... it is vile, just vile.
and i cannot be FUCKED to justify it bc "oh ur poor abusive parents grew up in poor conditions or were also abused" or like "oh u know everyone beats their children it's no biggie" like... i understand CULTURE and i am not here to demonize people for being products of the culture around them. but human and especially child psyche has its limits to what treatment it can and cannot withstand without getting trauma. im not saying to cancel everyone who beat their children 4 example. im saying that it is going to traumatize those children bc that's how human psychology works and u can normalize all types of shit, child marriages, beating, raping, whatever, but it doesn't change the fact that these things are traumatizing. period
like in my example i understand my mother had horrible parents and i empathize w little innocent her having to live through that, and i am sorry, but it doesn't mean i can't be pissed about her abusing me. i don't want her to feel guilt, but i want her to feel responsible bc there's a cause and effect here. i didnt became socially anxious bc im such a fragile little shy thing, it was bc i had NO SAFE CARETAKER to form a healthy bond with so whyd u expect such child to trust other people can be bonded with if even her parents treat her like that! (thanks pete for this explanation of soc anxiety btw lol)
also re getting stuck in one of the fight or flight responses (freeze for me:() i saw ppl on reddit say they've been in freeze for 10 or 15 yrs and it made me think. and i feel like i was in freeze since literally 4 yrs old, so 25 yrs out of the 29 yrs i lived... brother that is insane and so fucking unfair. like the fuck
i think it's so contagious too, kids grow up traumatized by their parents and proceed to get together w equally traumatized partners bc healthy partners don't rly stay w unhealthy ones!! then they proceed to have beautiful innocent pure children who they traumatize. innocent children grow up to be traumatized adults and the cycle just goes on 4ever... it is vile, just vile.
and i cannot be FUCKED to justify it bc "oh ur poor abusive parents grew up in poor conditions or were also abused" or like "oh u know everyone beats their children it's no biggie" like... i understand CULTURE and i am not here to demonize people for being products of the culture around them. but human and especially child psyche has its limits to what treatment it can and cannot withstand without getting trauma. im not saying to cancel everyone who beat their children 4 example. im saying that it is going to traumatize those children bc that's how human psychology works and u can normalize all types of shit, child marriages, beating, raping, whatever, but it doesn't change the fact that these things are traumatizing. period
like in my example i understand my mother had horrible parents and i empathize w little innocent her having to live through that, and i am sorry, but it doesn't mean i can't be pissed about her abusing me. i don't want her to feel guilt, but i want her to feel responsible bc there's a cause and effect here. i didnt became socially anxious bc im such a fragile little shy thing, it was bc i had NO SAFE CARETAKER to form a healthy bond with so whyd u expect such child to trust other people can be bonded with if even her parents treat her like that! (thanks pete for this explanation of soc anxiety btw lol)
also re getting stuck in one of the fight or flight responses (freeze for me:() i saw ppl on reddit say they've been in freeze for 10 or 15 yrs and it made me think. and i feel like i was in freeze since literally 4 yrs old, so 25 yrs out of the 29 yrs i lived... brother that is insane and so fucking unfair. like the fuck
no subject
Date: Sunday, 19 January 2025 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Sunday, 19 January 2025 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, 20 January 2025 10:47 am (UTC)