(no subject)

 i've been having such crazy time with trauma symptoms unblocking and surfacing in my body and then i do some weird body therapy things and let it all out... and it does make me feel better. also had crazy symbolic dreams abt my family and regressing into my child state and remembering it v viscerally just how terrified and hypervigilant i always was when i was growing up bc of my parents terror and emo abuse!! and so much stuff makes sense now, like how i always had5 felt like i was in fog growing up and i retained so little memories from my childhood - both are signs of trauma in my case. but overall i feel good rn, it's so good to find this out and get to work on it. im having a cozy xmas at my place, burning the candle i got myself as an xmas gift<3